A breadcrumb life leads to a distorted view of your existence - one that Satan uses to discourage and destroy.
I like to spread seed, corn and bread out on my grass for the birds and deer - but today in looking at that line of breadcrumbs God spoke to my heart and said: Cindy, that trail is a visual of what your life was like.
Living in a marriage that was controlled by a husband who was an abusive alcoholic was difficult. I lived that life for 30 years praying, yearning and waiting for the next small period of time when promises would kept and sobriety, sanity and peace would come back into my ‘Christian’ home. But each time that a promise was broken it devasted me but not at first. At the beginning I was hopeful - each crumb of emotional and spiritual solitude and peace would lead me looking for the next crumb that would nourish, if only for a little while.
Each promise of "it won't happen again" fed me just enough emotionally and spiritually - that I could make it through the next long period of hell when the trust was broken yet again and again. Each crumb of peace would lead me looking for the next crumb until I found myself on a path that led to a life that was distorted.
I was living on small crumbs of nourishment while I was starving inside.
My view of reality became skewed. My trust was gone. In my mind I believed the lie that the abusive life was okay because (as I was told) “everyone has problems and God doesn’t condone divorce so you’ll be fine”. But Jeremiah 29:23 says of the evil -- “I know it – I see it.”
God saw. God did not condone.
God doesn’t lead you to a distorted view of life with small bits of encouragement that doesn’t satisfy. Isaiah 58:11 says that the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched place and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden like a spring of water,whose waters do not fail. God never promises things He does not complete. You will never be let down by God. He will not fail you and He can be trusted.
But God also wants you to walk in abundance with your focus and eyesight clear to what is right. In order to live abundantly through trials you may be facing - you have to get your nourishment from Him. Feed on His promises and on His word. Talk to Him daily – hourly – without ceasing. Do not put trust in man/woman/child – they will fail you. Look above the breadcrumbs – if you are using each one as the nourshment for your life you will die emotionally and spiritually. Your hope comes not from what You see –but in the hope that God sees. Will it end the way you want? Mine did not and my husband found his healing in death. But now that I am finding my healing I am to testify to what God can do for others in the same place.
Listen to His direction and do as he tells you….forget the teaching of others around you – listen to God alone. In Jeremiah 11:5 – after God explained to Jeremiah exactly what to do …. all Jeremiah said was “Amen Lord” – in other words “so be it Lord.”
Are you the one living with a mental illness – depression or anxiety – living for the next crumb of peace?
Are you the parent of a child living with an addiction that longs for the next period of sobriety and you think ‘this is it....it’s going to work this time’ only to be devastated when you watch them fall off the cliff yet again?
Are you the spouse of someone who struggles with anger – but apologizes afterward saying that it won’t happen again – only to have to endure it over and over? This is not something God condones – that is a lie from Satan that leads to a distorted life far from the one God has promised us.
Our hope, our focus, our direction and our nourishment comes from God, take time to get alone, pour out yourself to God and let Him refocus and restore.
My prayer today is:
“Father, I pray for those facing trials that seem to be impossible to overcome. I pray strength, peace and wisdom over them. As you promised us in Psalm 3:3 - I ask you to be a shield around them and a lifter of their heads. I can testify to Your undying love and faithfulness. You sustained me when I was in need of nourishment and You were my faithful guiding light in my dark world. We trust you and rely on your wisdom and direction – bring healing, strength, clarity of mind, courage and restoration to those who are desperate today.
You are good and we adore You. Amen.”